Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Did I really Sign up for This

Well, I'll be getting a really good taste of being "in the Army Now". Not as a Soldier, but rather as a Soldier's Wife. I'm ex-military myself and an Army brat to boot, but now I feel the heavy weight of responsiblilty more than ever as a Army Wife.

I know what the drill is, but dealing with it is still not a easy thing to wrap the mind around. Before I was just the girlfriend. We went through his last deployment ok, it was hard, but on this one, my responsibilities just quadrupled. Now I'm in the Army as well, and if your're a spouse, don't kid yourself. You just as good as signed up for service yourself.

2007 came like a flash, and now I must get used to the fact that my new husband is heading back over to the sandbox for yet ANOTHER year deployment. There are a lot of things to take care of before hand, and if I know the Army not near enough time together before he leaves. I try to imagine how it will be this time and if things will really be all that different. I need to familiarize myself with the base and all the services available to me there. I'll need to handle all the bills and a new mortage while he is gone. And to top it off, I really don't know many folks here.

My heart breaks some days knowing I have to give him up for another year.....and I ask myself all the time....Did I really sign up for this. I must have had a momentary lack of sanity when I did. CNN has become my favorite channel as I watch the news from Iraq and try to gauge how safe my love will be. Knowing full well that I really am not doing anything but finding more things to worry about.

I've taken to haunting military.com and spousebuzz and reading everything I can get my hands on so that I can learn about this new life of mine. Things have changed a great deal since my father and I were in the service, and there is really so much more to learn about as far as services and support....so I'm busy doing research and trying not to think of that day when I'll stand there and watch him walk out of my life for another year. I'll try to be brave and not cry and throw petty crap at him as I know he has to prepare himself as well.

All that put aside, I know deep down in my heart that yes I did sign up for this and I hope that I'll be able to live up to all the new expectations that are required. That I can make my soldier as proud of me as I am of him. And I also know that he's the love of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, there goes my opening ramblings. So welcome to my world...that of a Proud Army Wife

Laura Roberts

12 comments:

Col O'Hara said...

Your husband and our Army are very lucky to have you. Thank you.
Col O'Hara
USA

Some Soldier's Mom said...

forget CNN... they will wear you out... try FoxNews -- at least they support our military and their families...

Andi said...

Welcome to the "sisterhood." The life of an Army wife is not always easy, but I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

I'm very sure that your husband is as proud of you as you are of him. Hang in there (ugh - did I say that? I always hated it when people said that to me...).

Better said: There are plenty of us around to help you through this deployment.

Solo said...

Howdy Laura! found you through one of the best milblogs on the net. Andi's. Don't know what we'd do without her. I agree with Some Soldiers Mom about CNN, and watching too much news in general will cause a lot of stress. I do what I can to support the troops and families. I'm a proud Blue Star uncle of two in the Air Force, but I wish every day I could join up with the military(how 'bout it Col O'Hara, can you help an old biker out? I promise to behave, : )...mostly) Laura , you'll build up a group of friends and support(Hey! you've already got a good start!) Give your husband our best, and our thanks!

THIRDWAVEDAVE said...

Welcome to our growing world, Laura. Glad you made the effort and I'm sure you'll be happy you did.

Best of luck!!

Army Wife said...

welcome to the blogosphere, the "sisterhood". I think you will find the military community to be inspiring, and supportive. It will make a big differenc knowing there are others that FEEL the same WAY.

when a deployment is 12 months, or 18 months, it is hard to wrap your head around. Time is surreal and hard to measure. And sometimes, during a deployment, that is a good thing.

Prayers to you and yours

tammymunson said...

Welcome to the blogosphere my sister in arms! It takes a special type of women to be an army wife and you definitely are!

Welcome to the family!
Tammy AKA HH6

the abbott family home said...

Welcome! I'm a new army wife myself, well almost. DH leaves for BCT in a week.
There are lots of wonderful and supportive ladies on the military.com discussion boards. They've been great about answering questions and listening to the occasional rant...

Sgt. L's Wife said...

I'm a prior active duty wife and currently a guard wife. I'm in a non-military town with the exception of a few scattered reservists/guard members I don't know and was without the "local support" during his first deployment. I "met" some wonderful people through the blogisphere and still stay in touch with many of them. They say the wife's job is the toughest, some days I agree 1000% and others I can't see beyond my nose.

God bless your family and many thanks for your service to our country.

Chelly said...

Your husband is a very lucky man to have you by his side! I am sure he will be just as proud of you as you are of him! Keep your chin up.

I went through a deployment as just a girlfriend and then one as a wife... In many ways it is just as hard, in others, much easier.

Hope you enjoy your time together before he leaves.

Jes said...

First, Thank you and your man. Second, my guy was there for a year and it was pretty rough around here. We had email, web cam, a blog, but there were black outs, etc. Anyway, be strong! If you get a chance, I am proud to share that a book is coming out and available on Amazon called:
Bombshells: War Stories and Poems by Women on the Homefront! It's collection of homefront tales.
my blog is
http://bombshellandshelter.blogspot.com/

Laura Roberts said...

Well now Howdy to all of you. This is not our first deployment together and yes we use the internet, webcams, and he's great about calling every chance he gets...so we manage. He just reenlisted for 4 more years in country yesterday. He hoped I didn't mind being married to the Army...LOL...I'm very proud of his service to this country and told him so. We only have 9 more years until we can hang out our "Gone Fishing".